i am that person who constantly jiggles their leg i’m s orry
Ellen gives Edgar the pizza guy at the Oscars a $1,000 tip (x)
I love when celebrities just give away huge amounts of money to random people because $1,000 can mean so much to somebody who works a minimum wage job.
of course! a lot of my reblogging is probably by my sideblog, mutant-blood
awww, nice asks like this always warm my heart. glad to have restored your faith in humanity!
"so do you have a boyfriend?"
I begin to sweat, fumbling. I’m trying to shove them back into my pockets but it’s too late. thousands upon thousands of pictures of godzilla spill from my hands and into the floor, covered in kiss marks. there are so many.
LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL LITTLE THING OH MY GOD
Pretty sure that cat is using its magical powers to turn the plants around itself orange for camouflage. Yup, that’s it.
what does a tree do when it wants to leave
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I RUINED THE WHOLE FUCKING JOKE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ‘WHAT DOES A TREE DO WnHEN IT WANTS TO GO HOME’ I CANT EVEN TELL A JOKE RIGHT WOW THATS JUST PATHETIC
Somehow this version is funnier.
i love your blog! :D
a hell of a lot. people need to caaaaaalm down